Perfection.

.. I don't know what I could possibly add.

Public Service Announcement

The text reads:

Monkey Steals the Peach

This is the classical name for the upward groin slap. Drop to the right knee, swinging the arms like windmills to distract the enemy and deflect any defense he may offer. The left arm ends in jodan, the rising forearm block, protecting the head as you drop low and slide forward without stepping. Turn the palm up as it swings between the enemy's feet to stun him.

The Application of Monkey Steals Peach

Whip the arms as described and strike the enemy's groin with the open palm, fingers bent at the first joint in a Monkey Paw or Tiger Claw fist. The impact will lift the enemy off the ground. Those skilled in chi kung can direct energy up the Ch'ueng Mo channel of the body and stop the heart. Followers of the Iron Hand styles immedietly clench their fists tightly, with a crushing grip, and jerk the hand sharply back to the near hip, effectively ripping away the genitals. Massive blood loss causes death.

Ow. Ow. I don't even have a "peach" and I'm wincing. All the way to the end it just sounded like an elaborate way to touch another man's balls, but damn. Ow.

Momma Cat, Baby Skunks

"One week after being born, six baby skunks were abandoned by their mother. Luckily, we had just weaned five kittens off of our resident farm cat a day before, and hoped that she might take them on as her own. She was reluctant at first, but she let them nurse - a positive sign. Two weeks have gone by and the six little "stinkers" are thriving, and their new mom couldn't be happier. She has become quite devoted to them, and even carries them around to show them off to visitors!"

Pheobe's song from Friends comes to mind for some reason...